Hiiii everyone! It’s been way too long since my last post (313 days to be exact)! Although I originally set out to post a few times a week, I took an unexpected hiatus. Life happened…as it tends to do every now and then.
A lot can happen in 313 days! For starters, I moved shortly after I wrote my last post. I must say, moving was probably one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do. There’s the deconstructing of everything you have ever collected and deciding what is worth salvaging and what should not be apart of your next chapter. Then of course there’s the cost. However, by the grace of God and a few awesome, awesome, awesome individuals, it was far from the financial drain I was expecting (one quote totaled a little over $1,000!). That apartment was the only home I lived in as an adult. I moved in at 19, (so technically I did live with my mom from the age of 18 until that point), eight months pregnant, unemployed (won’t He do it!! Jesus!), and penniless! I had just emptied my bank account, which I literally had just enough to cover the first month’s and security.
My first place had seen me through quite a few trials and triumphs. It’s where I learned to prioritize my finances. I had many “Rent OR Debates”. Should I pay my rent, or spend it on what I know is going to be a “What Happens In Vegas…” kind of girls weekend? Should I pay my rent or buy these shoes (that already feel like I’ve jogged backwards in them for four hours although I’ve only been standing in front of this miniature seat/mirror at DSW for the past four minutes contemplating if these slightly snug pumps are worth a corn on my left pinkie toe) that would look amazing with the multi-colored sequined dress with the tags still on hanging in my closet?
Hmph! If those walls could talk. The friends, the foes, the friends who became foes. The love, the loathe, the emotional rollercoaster and life-defining moments that was the majority of my early-to- late twenties. My first place was Kamryn’s only home until age eight. By the time I was her age, I had already lived in a number of residences and would be moving from Puerto Rico back to New York, where I would have several more homes before finally settling down.
Days after my move, I also started student teaching. So when I should have been sorting through mugs and mistletoe, I was coming up with English lesson plans for high school students. Moving boxes went untouched, dinners became mundane, quick fixes. I was beyond stressed. I started to lose weight and my hair! I couldn’t even conceive of writing anything outside of work or school.
So we moved, I taught, Kamryn started 3rd grade and exhaustive State Test prep ensued. We adopted a dog (Kody), and within three months, had to give him away. Kamryn had an epic 9th birthday celebration. I stopped using heat on my hair (an addiction I have tried breaking on innumerable occasions but have proudly since stuck with). I learned how to make shrimp mac and cheese, fell in love with all things Motown (just listen to my Pandora playlist), took and passed a few teacher certification exams, embarked on a mission to read ALL or at least MOST of the classics (like what in the world will I talk to my future students about if I don’t).Kamryn got promoted to the fourth grade (yayy!) and as always, I did some soul searching along the way.
I always knew I would find my way back to this blog…eh-em, not only because I am paying for it, but because it allows me to share some of the things circulating in my mind. In addition to being super busy, another reason I haven’t written in all of this time is because I felt I had to write these epic, earth-shattering posts that would immortalize me in blogosphere fame and garner me innumerable hash tags, making me an instant trending topic. In retrospect, I felt as though I was only putting on display the polished china only used when guests are expected, and ignoring the faded discount Made In Indonesia plastic cups that were used 98% of the time and regardless of price, had defined the majority of my life, more than any china ever could.
This time around, with this blog, I want to capture the “little things” which may in fact be the big things. The things that may get overlooked but are, on closer inspection, the most cherished. What I have (re)discovered during this hiatus and am training myself to etch into my ever-changing perspective, is that it really must be about the journey and not the destination. The greatness may be in accomplishing that eight course Thanksgiving dinner that everyone will be raving about until next Thanksgiving, but remember the blunders? How many times you changed the menu, undercooked your practice chickens (we weren’t really a turkey-eating family growing up)? Sure I beam with pride when I remember my undergraduate graduation. Years of studying, writing last minute term papers, and researching paid off. But my most fondest memories are of the process of getting that degree, and not so much the actual degree.
I’ve learned to exhale, take in the moments, observe the sunset/trees/flowers/the way Kamryn methodically styles the hair of her Barbie’s and bust heads. This time around, I want to capture the presentness in the way life should be lived. I want to do away with (as much as I can)the hustle and just be. I want to capture an aspect of motherhood/my daughter on a daily basis. That’s right. Daily. Crazy how I am aspiring to go from 11 months and no posts to posting everyday!
These are my thoughts. These are my plans. I welcome you to come along for the journey, and encourage you to do the same in your life. To capture in some way, perhaps a daily picture/sentence/quotation/ that stood out to you on that particular day. Write it in a journal, start a new Instagram account chronicling these little things. And then reflect, because reflection is one of the best teachers. Reflection, if done right, forces you to grow. I am all about growth.
So take a moment, as many as you need… Indulge in your moments!